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HALACHA-----opposite gender conduct

Star Posted - 11 December 2000 15:52

Okay, sometimes when my bro's friends are over, I'll talk to them, not in a not tznius way but in a haimish way. Like we'll talk about something and my brother is there the whole time. This can not lead to anything because my they are my brother's friends and some of them are really not my type and I don't want to do something that's wrong like have a boyfriend.

- 11 December 2000 16:14

"A man must stay away from women very, very much. it is prohibited to wave or gesture, or communicate ("hint" - "lirmoz") with your eyes . . .it is prohibited to laugh with her, or to be lightheaded (frivolous) in front of her, or to gaze at her beauty; even to smell the perfume on her is prohibited." (Shulchan Aruch EH 260:21)

There's no heter to talk to guys because they're not "your type" or because they're your brother's friends.

Incidentally, I know instances where guys' sisters sit there thinking the talk is kosher, yet if they (the sisters) would hear how the guys talk about them (the sisters) behind their (and their brothers') backs they would think differently . . .

Me Posted - 26 December 2000 16:13

Whoa.... not allowed perfume smelling, well then I think we've just knocked down about almost all guys b/c women tend to wear perfume everywhere from school to shul to work to everywhere and I am sure it's impossible not to smell it. Shouldn’t it be more pronounced then that ladies shouldn't wear perfume????

- 26 December 2000 16:18

Yes. I know it is done all over, but I don't make the Halachah, which is clear, as stated above. If women are close enough to men that they (the men) smell the perfume, the women should not wear it. I don't know another solution to this.

rachel2001 Posted - 27 December 2000 21:03

If the air smells like perfume then you have no way of telling which scent goes to who so it shouldn’t make a difference.

Unless your close to the girl to tell exactly what she on. btw, is woman allowed to smell men’s perfume?

MODERATOR Posted - 27 December 2000 21:30

I can tell whose perfume is whose. Women don't always travel in packs.

There is no prohibition for women to smell men's cologne.

1WhoQuestions Posted - 28 December 2000 15:36

What about if a woman is going to wear men's cologne?

I mean, are men attracted to their own scents?

I wouldn't be interested in a guy who was wearing a flowery scented perfume...

MODERATOR Posted - 28 December 2000 16:46

The concept of what perfume is a man's and what's a woman's depends on society and fashion. It's a matter of opinion, really.

The Halachah is that a man is not allowed to smell a woman's perfume. It does not make an allowance that Calvin or Yves should provide the guidelines for this Halachah. If it attracts attention to the women, then its prohibited.

Meahachuz Posted - 12 February 2001 19:31

About waving to the opposite gender about when people (married) in cars wave to someone of the opposite gender. It always happens with frum ppl. who just gesture with their hands casually to the passing car. Is this allowed?

MODERATOR Posted - 12 February 2001 19:50

In certain communities, particularly among certain Chasidic communities, it is not accepted. In most frum communities it is.

The reason is because such a wave is not the friendly wave that was meant to be Assur, but rather, it is the only way to say a simple "hello" from inside a car.

whoyou Posted - 26 April 2001 18:44

Men cannot control what they smell, should they not inhale when a woman they know is wearing perfume passes by?

MODERATOR Posted - 26 April 2001 18:46

Turning away from her is enough.

whoyou Posted - 27 April 2001 2:35

I have a question: are sisters and brothers allowed to sleep in the same room?

My parents always forbid it amongst the older siblings but I'd like to know the source of that.

Bichlal do any issurim of yichud or negiyah apply to brothers and sisters?

For example: If my brother is leaving for yeshiva, can I give him a hug g'bye?

MODERATOR Posted - 27 April 2001 2:44

Touching was discussed in this very forum. See above, my post of 11 December 2000 17:54.

Re: Yichud. There is a Machlokes: Some hold that there is no prohibition for a brother and sister to be in Yichud incidentally, meaning, if perchance they end up together occasionally. But they may not live together in Yichud on a permanent basis.

Others hold there is a prohibition of Yichud for a brother and sister like everyone else.

But even among those who permit, many write that if you are strict anyway, you will receive a Brachah from Hashem.

jj Posted - 29 April 2001 20:13

Mod, could you please write where I can find these mikoyris where I could look it up? shkoyich, a gut shobbis

MODERATOR Posted - 29 April 2001 20:35

Rosh Kidushin 81a, Shulchan Aruch EH 178:2, Bach "Hamekaneh", Bais Shmuel 22:1, Gra #2,

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