TALMUD TORAH-----kollel 11

trixies Posted - 24 August 2004 8:58

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Mod, I understand your point perfectly, my only problem is; isn’t a woman's place at home, isn’t the reason that men wear tzitis and not woman bkz a man is out in the workplace and needs to be reminded that hashem is in charge whereas a woman is at home with her children?

I think my mother was reading Rav dessler and he feels that women shouldn’t go to work at all, and I know the chassidim feel that way too (of course I’m litvish...)

Here's the deal- I am not cut out to be a bais yaakov teacher. what I like to do is talk to kids on a one on one basis so child psych sounds good for me- problem: I’ll be in college for a long time in a not so good environment (even though I’m in a frum college now I have to go to a graduate program in a not frum college).

Then I’ll have to leave my kids w/ other ppl when I work, and I have this issue- I like to do things myself if I want s/t done how I want it bkz if I do it myself and mess up I know what I did and what I can change and I can try to control messing up, but if s/o else does it for me I don’t like it

Anyway gtg but basically that’s my issue.

Feedback please

MODERATOR Posted - 24 August 2004 9:23

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Yes, a woman's place is at home.

But also yes, the type of home you are supposed to have is a Torah home, a Torah-husband and Torah-father at its helm.

The question is, if you can only have one of those two positive elements of a home, which is more important?

The answer is having a husband and father who is a Talmid Chacham, or better yet, the biggest Talmid Chacham he can be, is the more important of the two.

So if you can have both, fine; if not, then we choose learning.

This is not considered making a "compromise" in religion, since either way you will have to give up something - the only question is what has to give.

Furthermore, there is a special concept surrounding the Mitzvah of learning that does not apply to any other Mitzvah, a concept that affects both Halachah and Hashkafa, that is, Torah learning in the world is so important that we prioritize Torah learning in a way that we would never do with other Mitzvos.

For instance, normally, if you have a choice between you doing a Mitzvah or you causing someone else to do a Mitzvah, we say chayecha kodem - your Mitzvah comes first. So if you can afford one pair of Tefillin, you use it yourself as opposed to giving it away to someone else. However, with regard to Torah learning, the Halachah is that if a father can afford one Rebbi, either for him or his son, if his son has potential to be a Talmid Chacham, he should give the Rebbi to his son, and forgo his own learning. Such an idea exists nowhere except regarding Torah learning.

Another for instance: Living off Tzedakah is frowned upon in the Torah. However, the Shach writes that nowadays, if the only way you will be able to learn is to live of the public, then it would be an aveirah not to do so, because how else will we have the maximum amount of Talmdei Chachamim in the world?

I would suspect that all this is a derivative of the Halachah of Eis Laasos - that with regard to the laws of Torah learning, in order to maintain Torah at its maximum strength, we jettison other Halachos. Ais laasos applies only to the laws of Torah learning, not to anything else.

In any case, in the recipe of a Torah lifestyle, Torah learning is all the way on the top of the list. And although it is true that kol kevudah bas melech penimah, and a woman's place is with her children, an even greater merit than all that is when a woman is moser nefesh so that her home will be graced with as much of the light of Torah as possible.

senior09 Posted - 27 February 2006 11:51

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Thanks Mod for your answer about husband's learning--I was having this conversation with a friend just last night, and I was saying that I'd do whatever I could so my husband could learn, but kids would be my first priority...so really, his learning should be my first priority, which is MORE than fine with me.

MODERATOR Posted - 01 April 2006 23:54

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By having your husband learn you are taking care of your kids, by providing them with a Talmid Chacham for a father