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CHIZUK-----nichshal on the internet

bitter Posted - 12 April 2002 15:57

Hey everyone!

I never thought I would be the one writing on these posts but unfortunately I am.

I am a frum yeshiva bochur attending a very strict and a very famous yeshiva.

About 1 yr and half ago I was eager to look at porn and I never had the guts to do that aveirah until one day a kid in my class took me to his house to delete the temporary internet files because he didn’t want to get in trouble.

As I was erasing them I was also looking at them and then we went onto websites. And I REGRET SO MUCH because it has changed my life forever into bad.

It’s march 12 2002 and guess what? I’m still looking at porn and of course I did have a time where I said enough is enough and that was it, but lately I am bad.

I used to say Tehillim and try to improve and now I feel so lost because I have been oiyver a lot of avairos through looking at porn.



MODERATOR Posted - 12 April 2002 17:37

This particular Yetzer Horah is often agonizingly difficult to overcome. The reason is not merely because it is so strong, but also because whereas by other Taavos - such as Kovod, money, and power - you can enlighten yourself into a state of victory over the Yetzer - you can learn to laugh at Kovod; to be a Someach b'chelko; and to not care about power - there is no philosophy, no enlightenment, and no proper attitude that will cause you to not care about this Taavah.

The only way to fight it is with simple self-restraint. That’s why "Kedusha" means staying away from this specific Taavah. You have to simply "say no" to this Taavah; for the others, you can simply learn that there is nothing there that you even need to say "no" to.

Your first course of action is to make Gedorim and Siyagim. Keep the computer in a public place if possible; allow others to use your computer when you’re not there (you may be afraid that others will see your "trail." And btw, its not only the Temporary Internet Files that show where you’ve been. Even if you erase those, there are still ways to see your history).

After that, you need to realize that the only way you can get of this is simply by fighting the urge to do it. Tehillim helps of course, but just like Tehillim helps for a sick person. Meaning, you still have to go to the doctor. Here, you are your own doctor, and your self-restraint is your medicine.

There is one "trick" that I have suggested to people that sometimes helps. The way this particular Tavah works is, you constantly need to refresh it with new images. There is so much available that the Yetzer Horah is always making you look for more, and it makes you bored of the same old thing after a very short while. So if you limit your Yetzer Horah to a small amount of images, using only them and never going for new ones, it will eventually become boring, and at that point it will be easier for you to break away from the whole thing.

At this point I must clarify that I am not allowed to, nor do I have any intention of, telling you to look at this stuff. Rather, I am merely advising you to reduce and limit what you are looking at already, in order that it will be easier to break away totally.

Please understand also, that even though the situation looks and feels bleak, with much effort and much prayer, Hashem can give you Siyata D'Shmaya. You never know where - and when - Hashem's salvation will come.

You are fighting a very tough battle. The main thing is to keep fighting and not give up. Hashem is the one who decides what our Nisyonos are, and how hard they will be. He is watching you fight this battle, and Shepping Nachas from your efforts. It is those efforts that makes Hashem proud. And the energy that you put into those efforts is what brings Shefa and Brachah to then entire world.

In a time where Klall Yisroel needs Shefa and Brachah so desperately, the efforts you are putting in to fighting this Taavah are so important to us and to Hashem. Please, for all of our sakes, keep on fighting.

hebrew Posted - 19 April 2002 15:57

Hi I'm new and here and I'd like to put my 2 cents in.

I think you’re all missing the point saying ani maamin with the translation won't help much. We need to examine the core of the problem. Perhaps it's the oppressive, repressive and closed Charedi environment that is to blame. The obsession with separation of the sexes, absolute ignorance and lack of education in sexual matters etc.

These issues must be addressed and the Charedi community must come to the realization that creating a little ghetto in Brooklyn just doesn't work.

MODERATOR Posted - 19 April 2002 16:00

What you call obsession is actually adherence to G-d's instructions.

Lack of education in sexual matters? Ignorance? What ignorance are you talking about? Where are you from? Mars? Maybe Chariedim use the blood of Modern Orthodox in the Matzos too?


hashemisone Posted - 09 July 2003 17:15

On this inyan R' Nachman mibreslov revealed a tikun. These ten Tehillim have the power to be mesakain the world in general, but specifically they provide a tikun for this aveira: 16,32,41,42,59,77,90,105,137,150. I doubted the effectiveness of this tikun but the kalover rebbe shlita told me something that was mashma that is really does work. hatzlacha

MODERATOR Posted - 09 July 2003 17:28

The best of the "segulos" is accessible to you: "ain segulah katorah"!

"The nature of our holy Torah is that it burns up and incinerates all evil thoughts and impure ideas."

- Keren Orah Moed Katan 28

The best solution is to immerse yourself in the Mikveh of Torah.

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