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LUBAVITCH-----but my family is lubavitch 2

Lubav No more Posted - 10 September 2001 17:57

I just told my father that I'm thinking of not being Lubavitch anymore and he totally freaked out worse than when my brother said he doesn’t want to be religious. Its like he doesn’t care if someone doesn’t eat Kosher all the time but if they don’t want to be Lubav its like the end of the world. I'm sick of all this ******** all I want is to be a normal Jew and serve Hashem without having to be involved in all this *****.

Moderator, I want to thank you for what you're doing on these boards. I never realized what Lubavitch really is, I don't want to worship a Rebbe or to be brainwashed.

I asked my father the questions on the boards and he said that’s just misnagdim, just like you said he would say and just like prism's father said to him, and when I said can you please answer the questions he got upset and said are you saying the Rebbe is wrong?

Then I said I'm thinking of not being Lubavitch if I can’t get answers and he totally freaked. I don’t even want to say what he said, but I have no interest in being part of a whacko religion like I see this is. It's enough already, I just want to be normal again.

Is it possible after all these years of being Lubav? Can I really be just normal? Where do I start Moderator? What do I do with my whole life?

MODERATOR Posted - 11 September 2001 17:07


Boruch Hashem many are in the same boat with you, realizing that they want to grow beyond what they were taught wrongly to follow. Of course you can grow if you want to.

You've already taken the first step. The part of "being normal" is easy, in and of itself. It seems you already realize what needs to be done, and you are just asking if it is attainable. The answer is a resounding "yes." For sure. No problem.

The difficulty will be dealing with your family. So here's the deal:

Number one: Do NOT bother your parents about them being Chabad, regardless of how much they make you suffer for not wanting to be. Unless you believe there is a chance of their listening to you, there is no Mitzvah to tell them they are doing wrong.

And that applies even to strangers, certainly to parents, since all you’re going to do is cause problems in the home.

Number two: Do NOT judge your parents at all for what they are. Even though you do not want to repeat their mistakes - and that is good - you have no right to judge them. Al tadin es chaverchah ad shetigiyah l'mkomo.

I do not know if your parents are Baalei teshuva, but they were probably indoctrinated by Chabad teachings that they did not know how to question, and now they are just living a lifestyle that they were taught was the best way to live, unfortunately.

You don’t know how you would have ended up had you been in their shoes, especially since the problems with Lubavitch just started coming to public light recently, like since a few years before the Rebbe died, and even more so afterwards.

Although the Tzadikim warned us about this long ago, it was hard for the average person to know who to believe until recently.

Number three: Please find a rabbi to learn from. Everyone needs a Rebbi, and especially since you're undergoing a spiritual lifestyle change.

It's Rosh HaShanah soon. Time that is mesugal for lifestyle changes. You'll be OK. Hashem will help.

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