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CHIZUK-----to a repentant homosexual


wot Posted - 31 December 2006 12:08

Hi Moderator of Frumteens,

I read your website a lot and find it a very useful tool when I'm in need of Halachic answers or simply a good and Kosher read. Keep it up.

Now, I have a feeling you can help me. I'm in quite a difficult space right now. I live in Jerusalem and am firsthand witness to the events that are currently shaking this city.

I am talking about the gay pride parade (which hopefully will not take place) and all of the terrible fuss going around it. Passing through Charedi neighborhoods, closely watching the fierce demonstrations, reading the many vitriolic signs- all of these have had a very negative effect on my mood and general wellbeing.

I'll be frank - up until about a year ago I was a practicing, confessed homosexual. Basically, I gathered myself together and did Teshuva and have learned to stay completely abstinent. The struggle has been and still is very painful and testing but I am more than determined to have a family one day and keep growing strong in my religiosity.

However, there's so much baggage that I couldn't possibly begin to release on you now. And by the way, therapy doesn't help much.

My questions:

Rabbi Moderator, I want to understand why it is necessary for Chasidim and Litvoks to constantly use such harsh language against homosexuals all of the time. Though I don't consider myself a homosexual anymore (heh, I don't even know what I am), the insults are downright offensive.

How am I supposed to feel when I read the dozens of different signs calling homosexuals things like Amalek, animals, or mentally ill?

How would a Satmer Chasid or Toldot Aron (or anything) react to someone with a story like mine?

Is the screaming and rock throwing aimed at me as well? If I were to stand in a group of Chasidic demonstrators, and somehow (just imagine) it would be known that I was once a homosexual, would they suddenly lynch me?

I am serious, Rabbi Moderator, I have no clue of where I stand!

Rabbi Moderator, I'd appreciate some words of Chizuk from you. Perhaps you can remind me of the powers of Teshuva again. Maybe you could quote some sources on how Hashem views our battles against evil.

Please, I need to be told that all of what I'm going through is actually being noticed and appreciated by someone or Hashem.

Basically, it seems almost impossible for an ex-homosexual to fit in a religious/Charedi community.

Thanks and all the best,

- 31 December 2006 12:32

Believe me, when these people say those things about "homosexuals" they are referring to practicing homosexuals - not those, such as yourself, who are omed bi'nisayon in a way that would make those protestors jealous - and they would be the first to admit it!

So chazak v'amatz - don’t worry. Those people don’t mean you.

taon Posted - 31 December 2006 14:56

try reading this over

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