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EMUNAH & BITACHON-----when bad things happen

Hi. I was just diagnosed with MS earlier today. I don't yet know what kind I have or how severe it is. I just... I'm okay with it and everything, I've been searching for answers since December 2000 and I finally have them... I just want to know what Hashem wants me to learn from all of this. I need to find some meaning in it. I'm not a davening person, really, I'm BT and so I'm not really used to saying tehillim regularly... I don't know how I have the right to ask Hashem to undo what He's done to me. So when my friends tell me to daven, what's the use? It's His will. I accept it. All I want is a little bit of meaning out of all of this. Any thoughts? Thank you very much in advance.

You have a right to ask Hashem for anything you desire. Not only that, but sometimes, Hashem only gives us what we desire if we pray. he may even have something reserved for us - it may be our destiny to have it - but only if we "ask" for it.

This entire world is a place that G-d put us to get closer to Him. We do this by Torah and Mitzvos. We also do it by learning Torah, and - especially for girls who are not obligated to learn - davening.

Davening is not trying to undo what Hashem has done. Rather ,it is procuring from Hashem that which He wants to give us.

It's like those restaurants where you first go to a cahier, place and order, and you get a ticket saying what you paid for, which you present to the guy at the other end of the store with the food. He takes the ticket and gives you your order.

Our "ticket" in this world is our Tefilah. Hashem has "given" us a lot more than we currently know. We just have to "submit the ticket" and receive what we are entitled to. We submit the ticket by praying. In fact, Hashem will ask us after 120 years "Why didn’t you give in your ticket? I wanted you to have XYZ and you didn’t take it!" Meaning, "Why didn’t you daven?" Davening isn’t asking Hashem to change what Hashem wants to happen; not davening is changing it.

That having been said, whatever Hashem does to us in this world, be it pleasure or pain, is a Nisayon. Our entire purpose in this world is only to have Nisyonos. There is no other purpose. So everything that happens - every single thing - follows that purpose.

The pain, the testing of your Emunah and Bitachon, your newly found (but unrequested) sensitivity and intimate knowledge of a sickness, are all things that, in G-d's plan for "Batshua", have the ability to being her closer to fulfilling her job in this world. The ability to give people chizuk who are in a similar position, the ability to feel what they feel, the ability to maintain unwavering Emunah and Bitachon, the ability to be a model of spiritual strength and steadfastness - all these and more - are ways for you, in this temporary, dark, fake, non-understandable world, to get a closeness to G-d that is permanent -will last for millions and millions of years, is clear, loud, and glorious.

In the next world, those who have gone through suffering in this one, and have maintained their faith and Knowledge of Hashem, are going to be the ones who are the healthiest, strongest, fittest, happiest, and the ones who are going to enjoy the infinite pleasure for eternity. Those who were not zocheh to fight for their Emunah in this world, will be the ones who need Tehillim in the next. But then Tehillim will no longer help.

Nobody asks for Nisyonos in this world, and certainly, when someone is suffering, we try through prayers and actions, to alleviate it for them as much as we can. But when Hashem does reveal to someone what their Nisoyon is in this world, and gives it to them, we look at it as an opportunity given to us to be great.

Batchua: Become a role model and an example of strength and Faith in the face of suffering in a world where we have so precious little role models. Be someone for people like me to look up to, because no matter how many seforim one reads or how many questions one answers, its nothing compared to someone who has to walk the walk of strength in the face of suffering. How can I do less than admire - and envy - someone with such Emunah? Moderators need people to look up to, too.

Rav Osher Zelig Margolis ZTL once asked the Satmar Rebbe, when the Satmar Rebbe was leaving Erezt Yisroel, "Rebbe, now that you are leaving, who should we go to for blessings?" The Satmar Rebbe answered, "Go to a Shul one morning, and when the people are rolling up their sleeves to put on Tefillin, look for someone with a number tattooed onto his forearm (which mean he was in a concentration camp). That person, you can go to for a Brachah."

There are so little people nowadays that we can go to for Brachos. You will be one of them.

Rav Osher Zelig Margolis ZTL was a gaon, a Tzadik, and a master of Kabbalah. But even he needs people to go to for blessings.

And those who are Omed B'Nisayon have the power to change the world with their blessings. One day, Batshua, the greatest Tzadikim can come to you for Brachos, because of your strength and Faith. Please, if there is anything I or we here can do - even if you need some words of Chizku (everyone does) - we want to help. (PS - check out the following book: Multiple Sclerosis: A Guide for the Newly Diagnosed By Nancy Holland, T. Jock Murray, and Stephen Reingold.)

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