CHIZUK-----worth living for 1 mitzva

Elchonon Posted - 05 September 2004 15:30

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I'm sorry if I sound blatant but-Why get up in the morning? I feel no desire to. I probably do 80% aveiros and maybe 20% mitzvos. So why get up just to make Hashem disappointed and anger Him?

The only reason I get up is because I have a chiyuv. I must daven. But if I didn't have a chiyuv I might not have gotten up some days this summer. Why do one mitzvah of davening and 2000 aveiros of bad thoughts and lack of kavana. Why wake up to a life full of failures,aveiros, and bitter remorse over mistakes you never wanted to make?

And through all this guilt and feelings of failure you know Hashem is disappointed in you for disobeying and \ or failing to pass his tests. Then you spend the rest of your day feeling bad and doing teshuva, and hoping Hashem will forgive you even if you did the aveira 80 times since last Tuesday. Besides for letting Hashem down and harming yourself-you feel horrible. To know the level you have sunk to?

Some of the aveiros I did... I can't bear to make more mistakes, but I know I will. Why rise to am life like that? Any suggestions. I feel miserable...

MODERATOR Posted - 05 September 2004 15:52

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The Shem Mishmuel points out that it is worth being alive for doing even one Mitzvah, even if you do many many aveiros as well. The reward for that one Mitzvah is worth going through the Hell of punishment for all the avieros.

Elchonon Posted - 06 August 2008 8:04

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Hello! This is Elchonon-the one who started this board! It is now four years later, and I cannot believe how I changed. Baruch Hashem, I am still working and growing, b'ezras Hashem, as I have been doing in the past. I have too thank the Mod for that shem mishmuel (Which I later saw inside).It has inspired me and been mechazek me to keep going many times over the years.

I have to tell you guys- never give up. NEVER. As long as you don't give up, you can still beat the yetzer hara- but if you give up chas v'shalom then you've been defeated.

But most of all- remember that Hashem Yisborach is WITH you, NOT against you!
And be Happy! life is a test- but a wonderful one!-Elchonon

MODERATOR Posted - 06 August 2008 8:25

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Thank you, Elchonon for the kind words. It's amazing how one simple line of Toras Emes can change someone's life. May Hashem grant you continued success, and please drop by frumteens and tell us how things are going.