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CHIZUK-----life is not black and white

igwtf Posted - 04 September 2001 18:10

I was raised in a really frum home. We’re really strict on issues. Well this summer I went with a few friends to work, earn some cash... By our place there were boys nearby we started speaking, met them late at night. Then I didn’t care anymore for Torah issues.

That one month basically changed my life. Now we keep in touch with the phone...I used to be so good!

MODERATOR Posted - 05 September 2001 18:19

Don't worry. Life isn't black and white. We all fall and we get up. If you think that because you did some aveiros in the summer, and maybe you feel it is easier for you to do them even now, that you are no longer "so good", you are mistaken.

People, especially teenagers who have not been in this world all that long, make a mistake sometimes and think that if they slip up, they change. You don’t change. You just slip. That’s life. You’re going to slip more. Hashem gave you a body made of dirt, that wants dirt and likes dirt. You think it's going to just ignore you? It's going to pull you to the dirt all your life. But Hashem gave you a Neshoma that can pull back. You will not win every battle, as the posuk says "The Tzadik falls seven times before he rises". Don’t worry that you fell. We all do.

If you do Teshuva, forget about these guys, and resolve never to do it again (you already have accomplished the "charata" part of Teshuva), you will be not only "as good" as you were before, but better. Because "better" in our religion means not "more innocent" so you don’t need to fight, but rather "a better fighter", and the more you fight the better you are.

That’s why if you experienced the storm of the Yetzer Horah, and it knocked you for a loop, but you pick yourself up and continue anyway, you are greater than even before you got knocked down. "Bmakom sh'baalei techuva omdim etc." -- the Meforshim say that applies not to someone who was a Rasha then becomes a Tzadik but rather to someone who was always frum, but fell, and now gets up.

Like you.

See, the Yetzer Horah is very tricky. First it knocks you down, which is not a big deal, since you can always do teshuva. But knocking you down was not the Yetzer's goal --- his goal was to use that knock down as a setup to convince you that you are different than you were before and that Teshuva is pointless, since whatever you do, you will never be the same.

That's his Big Lie. Hashem tells us he's lying, and that if you do teshuva, you will be even better than you were before.

But the Yetzer Horah risks your doing Teshuva, and makes you fall, knowing full well that if you do Teshuva it's better for him had he never knocked you down. But he takes that risk hoping to convince you not to do Teshuva. He won the first bet, and now is going for double or nothing.

So give him nothing. Win what you lost before, plus more. Do Teshuva, forget the guys, and get on with your life.

And get used to this game --- the Yetzer Horah often beats us, but the good news is Hashem always forces him to go for double or nothing afterwards.

And that's where we become Tzadikim.

tess Posted - 06 September 2001 17:18

Moderator I really loved what you said here. I think we all need that bit of chizuk thanks!

yg Posted - 10 September 2001 19:08

Tess- you are right, the moderator rules. he is a really smart guy who is also very busy and it is incredible that he takes the time to help out all these people without them even knowing who to be grateful to.

igwtf, it is fine that you fell. we are all humans. and we all have taivos. I was also a typical bais yackov girl that messed up and thought that my old life was over. But with the help of our good friend, Rabbi moderator, I got my life back on track. It was hard- very hard. Bad habits are not easy to break. but I did it.

And I am married to a kollel guy who is learning and shteiging, and baruch Hashem I straightened out right away before I was totally entrenched in a different way of life. the faster you do teshuva, the easier it will be. do not underestimate 17 years of living life one way.

Once you get back to yourself, you will look back at this period of your life and sigh with relief that it is over. you can do it, we are all rooting for you!!!

igwtf Posted - 10 September 2001 19:08

But its so hard to just forget about them...They still are on my mind a lot. I'm trying to do teshuva but I think the Yetzer hara is getting to me! But I love what you said its 100% true.

MODERATOR Posted - 11 September 2001 18:02

Hey yg,

Its good to hear from you, and I appreciate your kind words, though your success is your doing. I just said some words when maybe you needed to hear them.

And it's a chizuk to me that you read these boards.

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