TEFILAH-----praying for teshuva?

Gush Katif Girl Posted - 19 September 2005 10:53

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A little bit over a year ago my sister got engaged to a this Christian guy. My father was furious he almost left her for dead but my mother somehow calmed him down. I was happy they did not sit sheva for her because she is my sister one of my best friends, even though we fought a lot like all siblings do, I did not want to lose her. I cried every night for a month when I found out.

Now, well I am losing her my Jewish sister is becoming a stranger she has a cross hanging from the rear view mirror of her car she is not married to him yet and she is still living in the same house with him. Last time I saw her the only words she said to me were good-bye and shut up. I am losing my sister and there is nothing I can do about it........

MODERATOR Posted - 19 September 2005 11:15

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My heart goes out to you, GTG. But there is something you can do about it. Your sister, for all practical purposes, has willingly delivered herself to death, but spiritual casualties, no matter how tragic they are, are reversible. There is always hope that your sister will one day return to Hashem. It will always be up to her, but you can pray to Hashem that she do Teshuva and resurrect herself.

And we can pray for people to do teshuva, even though it is dependant on Bechirah. There is a machlokes how such prayer works:

According to the Chazon Ish, Hashem may intervene and help someone to do Teshuva, and it is not a contradiction to the rule "hakol bidei shamayim chutz miyiras shamayim" because the Divine intervention was triggered by the Bechirah of a human being, that is, your prayers.

Others hold that the way this prayer works is not that it supplies leverage for the person to decide to do Teshuva, but rather it gives them easier Nisyonos. So in your sister's case, you should pray that one day her husband loses his temper when they’re arguing about money and calls her a "Cheap Jewish [expletive deleted]", which may open her eyes.

Pray that her marriage will be one of the 60% of marriages that end in divorce. Pray that she always remembers the good times she had with your family. Pray that maybe her children will one day seek out their Jewish roots, and bring their mother back with them. Pray that circumstances make it easier for her to return to Hashem so that her decision will be that much easier.

I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you and your family is going through - and that Kivyachol Hashem is going through as well. But you should never ever lose hope. No matter what your sister does, Teshuva is always a hope.

May Hashem have Rachmanus on her and let her see the terrible mistake she is making.