CHIZUK-----advice for mussar learning

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PinteleYid Posted - 02 May 2001 19:05

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Question Two:

When I study Musar, and learn about the way one should and shouldn’t act, I think, Hey, this is great advice. When I am in public, though, sometimes I forget what made So much sense.

Does this mean that it was a waste of time??

How can I help myself be more affected by the musar or tochacha I here???

How can I learn something and have it effect me forever????

Question Three:

I would like an introduction to adolescent psychology, ages 10-20, from both male and female perspectives.

One, How can I spot Apikorsus in a book I get from a "Barnes and Noble" type store,

Two, can you suggest anything that is not so expensive that will do me good??

MODERATOR Posted - 02 May 2001 19:49

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Two:

Mussar needs to be learned over and over and over for that to happen.

The mesilas yeshorim opens his Sefer by saying that he is not writing anything people do not know already.But merely reminding people of that which they do know.

Just knowing Tochachah will not always mean action will follow.

Rav Yisroel Salanter ZTL used to have his Talmidim sit and chant one line of Mussar over and over like a mantra. The idea of Mussar is that is must penetrate you. Not merely be known by you.

Use Gedarim Siyagim, and focus on one idea at a time. And spend time on the idea until it sinks in.

Don’t worry that it doesn’t happen right away. It’s not meant to.

Three:

If you are talking about clinical psychology, don't bother.

You won’t be able to recognize the Apikorsus, and it doesn’t do much good anyway in the practical world.

If you are, on the other hand, talking about practical understanding of how to deal with teenagers, I would suggest Torah-based material.

Try the tapes on our host Shemayisrael Torah network http://www.shemayisrael.co.il/orgs/rejew/tapes.htm

If you insist on non-Jewish material, I would suggest something totally practical as opposed to psychological. Try the "Active Parenting of Teens" parenting guide, http://isbn.nu/1880283107/price

But seriously, you are really much better off with the Torah material.

shannny Posted - 03 May 2001 21:23

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How do you pick that one thing to work on when you have so much to work on?

MODERATOR Posted - 03 May 2001 21:30

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Start with the most important. If you give me a bit of background of yourself, maybe I can make a suggestion.

shannny Posted - 04 May 2001 14:53

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I don’t know how to describe myself. I go to a Bais Yaakov.

I basically go by the school rules, the typical BY rules. But somehow that doesn’t make me feel good, like I’m doing the ratzon Hashem. I think other things are just as important but don’t know where to start.

MODERATOR Posted - 04 May 2001 14:58

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Use the Sefer Orchos Tzadikim. Follow his program and work Middah by Middah, according to the order of the Sefer.

An alternate idea is to do the same thing, but with the Mesilas Yeshorim.

The difference between the two Seforim, in this sense, is, Orchos Tzadikim focuses on improving the person one Middah at a time, whereas Mesilas Yeshorim focuses on improving the total person, little by little.

It's 12 of this or a dozen of that. Take whichever approach you think works better for you.